Yay! You too can become a sneaker influencing millionaire! So I’ve been getting a bunch of emails from companies insisting that I’m well on my way to becoming a ‘sneaker influencer’ and they want to work with me for something like ONLY $400/week to help me grow my Instagram following. ONLY $400 A week!!!!! I mean, I could even do cross posting with guys like @jayalvarrez (definitely my target market) and if I’m lucky I might even be able to work with someone like @kyliejenner !!!
You guys can all thank me later.
Here’s your 5 step guide to becoming a sneaker influencer:
1. Go to your local Nike outlet and purchase the *hottest* shoe in the streets regardless of size (in this case – size 15 Martine Rose x Nike Monarch Triple Blacks even though I wear a size 9)
2. Take pictures in portrait mode with your iPhone outside making sure to appear you’re in motion, even if you’re not. Bonus points if you’re splashing in puddles.
3. Generate thousands upon thousands of likes and comments and gain more and more followers..
4. Respond to the neverending string of emails from people promising even more likes and comments and followers.
5. Get flown all over the world and ‘influence’ people to buy sneakers!
Thank me later!